Friday, September 14, 2012

More than a year later....oops.

I can't believe how bad I've been about blogging. Sorry, friends.  I do read your posts from time to time, and love to hear about your lives.

Bethany started 4th grade.  We're back in soccer season, she's in the school choir, and getting back to her piano lessons.  Mallory started kindergarten, is also playing soccer and LOVES going to school.  Elijah is teaching me all about how boys are different from girls.  He is one of the most cuddly kids I've ever seen.  He melts my heart.  And ,whew, does he wear me out.  But, I am older and pregnant, so that's to be expected, right?

When we found out about this pregnancy, we were shocked.....mostly because it breaks our 4 year pattern.  I honestly didn't know if we'd be blessed with more children, and we were talking about how old we would be if if was 4 years in between again.  Um, 38 and 39 seemed a little older than we would prefer to have babies, so Heavenly Father said, "Here! Have this baby now!" I am 20 weeks along now, and am actually starting to visualize having a real newborn again.  I love babies, that wasn't the problem.  It was the idea of being pregnant and taking care of a toddler, changing diapers and all of that lovely stuff AND how do I give them both what they need?? I felt super blessed to have older kids who have been understanding and excited when my last two babies came along. I kept thinking, "how is this fair to Eli? He won't get that one on one time with me for very long. What if I don't do this well?"  Yadda, yadda, yadda.....lots of insecurities.  But, I know that He must think I can do this.  I just want to do it well.

I am getting excited about baby number four.  We had an ultrasound yesterday and found out it's a boy.  We both figured, "hey, it's our fourth time. Why be surprised?" What is silly is that I was mostly excited about being able to use all of Eli's clothes over again.  :)  I think he is going to love having a baby brother.  Growing up a couple of years apart is lots of fun.  Since I'm 35, I get the lovely distinction of being of "advanced maternal age".  I agreed for the first time to the Downs Syndrome testing because I understand the value of knowing if there are any heart abnormalities for right after birth.  I regretted that decision, though, because at 13 weeks I get called in to the doctor's office in what seemed like an emergency, to be told that I have a 1 in 17 chance of this baby having Downs, instead of the 1 in 100 statistic for my age.  I thought, "why tell me this now so that I can worry for the next 27 weeks??"  I declined further testing, but have agreed to a fetal echo cardiogram which should be scheduled after a couple of weeks.  My doctor wants to know he's okay before we deliver in a small hospital without the required specialists.  Brad and I are feeling positive about things, though. 

Well, there's a bit of an update.  Miss my friends out there!  Hope you're all well.